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A standing date with myself

Since the pandemic have you found having time for yourself a prepandimic thing of the past?



Whether it's homeschooling the children, working from home, or simply trying to get your everyday home chores done, finding time to spend with just yourself almost seems like a foreign concept to most. It's easy to fall into the rut of constantly putting out but never taking the time to refule. Even if you are someone who live alone like myself. During this whole pandemic I've spent about 90% of my time in quarantine / lockdown alone in my apartment. However, I still found myself putting out massive amounts of time and energy for projects and school, but I had neglected to specifically, "with purpose", spend time with myself in the same way one would spend that special time with a partner or mate.


I was beginning to feel burnt out in my mind body and soul. There was a disconnect or non-presence with myself. Dealing with all the stresses that the pandemic brought, I stopped caring and giving attention to myself in the same ways that I did Pre-Corona. And just like a partner or mate that doesn't feel loved or appreciated, and feels abandoned, my body began to react and respond negatively to my lack of affection and attention towards it. Weight gain, mood swings, mild depression, these symptoms were all attemps from my body to get me to pay it more attention to it. I realize I was feeling this way because I fell out of relationship with myself.


I stopped exploring my interests, I stopped pampering and showering myself with unconditional love. I looked at my body in the mirror and realized that I had taken it for granted and had abandoned "my body", my life long friend and partner. I had to start doing things to rekindle the Pre-Corona relationship I had with myself and that made me feel fulfilled and happy. I felt the best way to do that was to treat it like a brand new relationship. I decided that I would start dating myself. This would be time that I specifically set aside for just me!!!


I found that shifting my thinking in this way helped and allowed me to connect with myself in a much different and deeper level. Looking at myself as the other person allows me to ask the questions, What if I just met me? Would I make a good impression on myself? Lol! Would I have a crush on me?


The following are a few tips that helped me to reconnect with myself. You can use them to prepare for your next hot date with yourself!!!

1.Get Ready: Remember, this is a real date! So make time to Shower, shave, wash your hair, weave, or wig, put on your makeup and best perfume. I love taking the time to get sexy for myself. 2. Wear something fun that makes you feel good and shows off your personality. Some people feel you should dress your age. I say dress as young and sexy as you feel. I'm 50 years old and I would go with a babydoll dress with heels over some polyester pants and sandals any day!

3. Clean your space. Ask yourself the question, would I want my date to come pick me up with my apt like this? Lol! Take out the trash and wash the bedding too, you might decide to have an after hour night cap with yourself after the date. 4. Have a plan. Whatever you decide to do on your date with yourself Give yourself the courtesy of scheduling and keeping the date. Don't stand yourself up!!! 5. Give yourself a thoughtful gift and celebrate mildstones. No one knows you better than yourself. Take the time each day or week to do something special for yourself. A new sexy bra set, maybe a new lipstick or a set of acrylic nails, whatever make you feel good, get into the habit of treating and doing nice things for yourself like you would in a relationship with another person.

6. Leave yourself love notes and daily Affermations around your house. In the love notes, write down the things you would want to hear your partner tell you, but tell it to yourself. For example: We have been together for our whole life and eveyday you become more beautiful than the day before. 7. Talk positively about yourself. Ask yourself, Would you tell all your shortcomings. family's dysfunctions, or your last bout with depression on the first date??? For most, the answer would be No! Remember this is a real date with yourself! Speak kindly and lovingly to yourself.

8. Get to know you. You can't be confident in what you want in life if you dont know who you are. What are your likes and dislikes? What are your goals and dreams? What do you want to be or do? Put much thought into this part of the relationship. Map it out in detail in a journal it. This will be the blueprint or outline to discovering a deep meaningful relationship with yourself. It will serve as the foundation that keeps you in a happy place when the going gets tough. 9. Kiss yourself goodnight. Develope a night routine that is all about "self-love". Maybe a cup of tea. Maybe a soothing read? Lol! or if the date went really well, a little personal time with "Lelo". Whatever works for you try to make it your Evening "Me Time" Routine. When you are able to be good and kind to yourself, you create the reserves to draw from to be good and kind to all that are around you.

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